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True Love Stories Never
Have Endings
This only set the stage for another memorable chapter. We arranged a meeting with her family to hand her back and arrange an engagement the following week. At the meeting, I was supposed to have my mum's brother representing me and her uncles there to take her back and discuss things. I noticed the moment I walked into the room, my uncle was not there to represent me so as to save face for the family. I sat there in what was supposed to be a discussion only to get blasted by them for kidnapping their niece and made to feel like the worst person alive. By this time, I could not even look at Zia as I felt I have failed her yet again. Being young and naive, I had no choice but to remain silent and watch the love of my life being taken away from me yet again. I suspected then that I had made the mistake of not getting married while I could and it would become even more difficult in the future. Still, I would not give up hope and told them to keep their promise to let us get engaged next week. Zia went back to her family while all I had was hope so I went back home. When I got home, things got even worse as her family had no intention of letting us get married. Zia was banned from leaving the house or even answering the phone. She was given the hiding of her life, leaving her bruised. Hearing this drove me insane. I have failed my love yet again. I would sit up at night to imagine talking to Zia in my mind, apologising to her as I have failed her yet again. I am supposed to have protected my love and I couldn't even do that. Her family was not done with me. They manage to get hold of me on a Friday, assaulted me and bundled me into the boot of a car. I only got left alone when more people came to the vehicle. I had 2 of her uncles assaulting me and one keeping guard as they made it clear that I was never going to have her. The following Monday, the police came to my house and told me I was charged with kidnapping. I went to the police station and also open a charge for assault. Her uncles asked me to drop the assault charges and they would drop the kidnapping charge. Well that took care of the legal matters but it sure did not help me getting my sweetheart back. Zia's accountant uncle was full of threats on what would happen if I did not leave her alone. I realised that I need to remember Zia has three other sisters and they will all suffer if I push harder and that would make Zia's life a living hell. That incident became a turning point for me. I have failed my love in everything so far. I couldn't ask for Zia and her sisters and mom to pay for something I am totally responsible for. As Jane and I became closer, I would tell her my most inner thoughts and how confused I am in the direction I should take. I would tell her how much I love Zia and can't stand the pain I am putting her through. I also joked with Jane that if we hook up, maybe Zia would forget about me and move on to a better life. I felt that maybe I am not good enough for her. She deserves the best but all I have given her is pain, sorrow, heartaches and failure. Feeling totally heartbroken and dying for a hug, I put my arms around Jane for some comfort. That lead to Jane and me kissing and somehow ending up spending the night together. I woke up in the morning hating myself. I was going insane and by now I felt terrible. Jane and I had a talk the following day where I apologised for my actions. I told Jane I love Zia very much and what happened with us shouldn't have happened. She also apologised for being too kind. She told me that at the very least, we are still friends. I started having thoughts of hoping that if Zia hates me, she would get on with her family wishes. I hated myself as well because I have betrayed her. I felt if I got involved with someone else, at least Zia and her family will be spared the wrath of her uncles. They could all move on with their lives and things would get better and easier for her. I started a relationship with Jane. Jane was always there for me when I needed her and I guess she was the easiest for me to latch onto. Jane and I discussed about Zia and I made it clear to her that I could never love anyone as much as I love Zia and if Zia ever needed me, I would be there for her. Unfortunately, Jane got pregnant. I read this as a sign that I have to let Zia move on with her life. I explained to Jane my feelings for Zia and we discussed on how to handle our situation. Jane and I got married on the 1st of April 2000 with her expecting our first child. I did my best to move on with life so that will make it easier for Zia to get on with hers. I hoped she would hate me so much that she would find someone who would not fail her as much as I did. Zia was sent away by her uncles to keep us out of reach of each other. I thought this would help her get along with her life. Despite being married, my love for her was so deep I would go to bed every night thinking and hoping she is okay. Jane knew how I felt at this time and was very patient with me. I felt I hurt many people around me including Jane. I was totally lost. Jane would hug me every night and tell me that time heals old wounds. I realised that Jane have actually fallen in love with me. I was not sure if Zia's life got better as she would have to keep the relationship between us a secret. If anyone knew about it, nobody would marry her. I felt that although I am trying to help her, I have stained her life forever...
Zia finally got married. When I heard about it, I broke down. I miss her so much. I still love her. I got a grip on myself and realised that I should be happy for her. I told myself that my sweetheart finally got her life back and the love we share would be ours forever. Zia's husband is a man whom I could not match up against. She truly got the best. Her family allowed this marriage as the husband to be is not me. All the talk of professions went out of the window. Time has passed and the saying time heals old wounds applies only if it is true. I tried my best to contact her. I just needed to hear her voice and tell her I am sorry for everything I had put her through. After some searching, I manged to get her phone number. I phoned her to check on how she was doing. Hearing her voice gave me goosebumps. I tried to speak properly so that she does not hear the lump in my throat and the tears in my eyes. I ask her how she is doing and apologised for my failures. I can hear in her voice the love we shared is burning bright in her heart. She tries to hide her feelings for me and I do the same. We always manage to think for each other so well. She would always know what I was thinking and so would I. We started to talk to each other every now and then just to check that we are both alright. When Zia got pregnant, I was so happy that you would have thought I was the father. Her life for once is going in the right direction. We kept contact throughout the years and yet we have been apart for twenty years. I still feel her love in my heart. I guess I only look forward to everyday hoping that I get a glimpse of my sweetheart. My love for Zia is unconditional. I will love her until my last breath. I feel guilty for my failures and misgivings for people around me. Jane and I are still married and I try to be a good husband and father for her and my two kids, a daughter aged 16 and a son aged 12. I have also grown to love Jane in a very different way as she have been by my side all this time. I laugh, I joke I put on a front that everyone accepts my life as they see it. I live my life everyday with pain, agony and live purely as a son to my parents, father to my children, a husband to my wife and a failure to the one I love the most. The 26th of December 2006 will be 20 years for Zia and I. The names in this story have been changed.
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